Being Gay, Lesbian, bi-sexual, neuter, “mainstream” or anything else is all about a personal choice which reflects how you feel about yourself at a deep, emotional level, and should be no-one else’s business except yourself. This is a state of mind, and is not usually a conscious choice that has been made, but more of a realisation that has grown over time. As people grow through their teenage years, their body and feelings awaken to their own sexuality, usually without any conscious control. This seems to have very little to do with their genetic origins, or the experiences or culture they are surrounded by, it is hardwired into everyone to develop into a sexual being, and everyone is unique in the way this occurs.
For most people, it comes as a realisation during those teenage years as they pass through puberty that they have sexual likes and interests that may be different than their peers, that a gay young man may prefer other young men rather than women, or that a lesbian young woman may prefer other young women rather than men. Others develop an interest in both; some develop an interest in neither sex at all. However it works out, it is an entirely natural process, and nothing to be ashamed about.
Love is one of the wonderful things in life, and it doesn’t matter who you share that love with, whether you are gay, lesbian, or anything else, as long as it is done openly, honestly and without coercion. The big difficulty during those young years is acknowledging those personal differences, and finding ways to be true to yourself, rather than blindly following someone else’s viewpoint of who you should be, or how you should act. This is often made doubly difficult as you are initially stumbling through the hormonal rush of the teenage years and trying to find ways to form those initial relationships.
Unfortunately, there are too many people in society who prefer to try and control others based on their own prejudices, ignorance and personal agendas, whether these are political, social or religious, and who will use labels, personal attacks and stereotypes in an attempt to affect those around them. To many such people, anyone who does not conform to their own standards and attitudes are to be condemned, and judged as unworthy. While this is usually only showing their own ignorance, it can often make it extremely difficult for you to be publicly open and honest about those inner feelings and attitudes. However, if you cannot be open about whom you really are and what you really feel, the main person being hurt is yourself.
The ability to love one another should be appreciated and relished no matter what your personal persuasion may be. And acknowledging this to yourself is the first step to being able to fully accept yourself and come to terms with those feelings. Once you have taken the step to admit to yourself that you have gay, or lesbian, or bi-sexual, feelings, you must then consider how to acknowledge it to those around you. This is often extremely emotionally challenging, both for yourself and for your friends and family. However, most people are more adaptable than you might initially think, and while the initial discussion may sometimes be difficult, those closest to you will usually be able to accept your feelings.
Accept yourself, accept your gay or lesbian feelings, and others will be able to accept them as well.