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How to Deal with an Emotional Abuser

By Brown Ezilon.com Articles Published 10/7/2011 | Violence Against Women

The first step to take is to get help from an outside source. If the abuse you are receiving is not physical but simply emotional, keep in mind that it is still abuse. You should not have to put up with any type of violence, be it oral or physical as this can put you in danger.

It can be hard to know what to do in these situations and harder still to leave the relationship you are involved in, this is why you need to seek external help, which will help you understand how to successfully deal and leave an emotional abuser.

The second step to take is to start changing the way you are thinking of the situation. Do not focus on the problems around you and waste energy on those regretful moments, or think of how you can change and act differently in order to stop abuse. This is not good for you, as you should focus on the abusive acts and make sure you are fully aware yourself that these are simply not acceptable.

What you should is make a list of all those issues and past acts that you consider have been unfair in your life, which have caused you hurt or have been disrespectful. Then on another column list all the things you wish could be different to what they are now, or those you would wish to have in a relationship.

You can for example write in the right column that your partner does not work for a living and in the left that you would like a partner who takes his responsibilities. Then continue to list all the bad things and next to these, what you would really like.

Our brain does not register negative behavior if they are not followed by a positive solution. This system of listing is important as it makes us realize the full extent of the negative acts within our relationship. This is why it is important to focus on what you would wish for, rather than what the problem is.

It is also important to do your own research in terms of relationship abuse, and not simply accept what people tell you. You need to establish your own terms of research; this will help you be more determined.

It is important to learn how to deal and leave an emotional abuser, as this will help you actually pass to the act. You need to devise a system and process and follow certain steps to be able to accomplish the task successfully.

There are obvious obstacles that can deter you from actually leaving an abuser, and these are your emotional involvement and the future you thought you would share with this person. All these factors contribute in making it difficult to actually leave an abuser regardless the bad circumstances.

Whatever decision you make it will hurt anyway. If you leave it will hurt and if you stay it will hurt too. The main difference being that if you leave it will hurt for a while, but if you stay it will hurt for life.