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How to get through a divorce or breakup

By Kenneth Bachman Published 11/26/2006 | Dating

After a break up, you might decide not to get into a serious relationship again because you are afraid of getting hurt once more. You may even fear that you might not find another person because your self-esteem was shattered. Feelings of not being good enough for anyone might lurk in your mind. This is quite normal to experience.

First, you must stop thinking and talking about him or her. Easier said than done right? No matter how difficult it seems, you must stop contacting or spying on your ex. If you continue this behavior, you will never forget about him or her.

Return their things or dispose them. It is a way of assuring yourself that you have really accepted that the relationship is over. Keep the gifts, photographs and cards that you have received out of your sight. Even consider changing your telephone number. This will keep you from waiting by the phone for him or her to call.

What is the worst thing that can happen from the break up? You definitely have learned something from the relationship, about yourself and your partner. Its up to you to answer that.

But what is more important is to get on with your life. It is not the end of the world. You still have your family, friends, and career ahead of you.

You can make new friends that may develop into better relationships. You can do things that you wanted done but held on because he did not like it.

Sitting alone in your house or apartment sulking away is a waste of time and energy. Figuring a way to get even may satisfy you to a certain extent but it does not benefit you in any other way.

Remember that they are getting on with their life and you are wasting yours away. The best thing you can do is to work on yourself, on your personal goals.

Start a journal. Writing down your feelings, thoughts and emotions is therapeutic. You are able to keep track of how you are managing your life after your loved one is gone.

Keeping a journal will allow you to see the growth you make after the break up. Write down your daily activities and your observations including the people you meet and the things you do either at work or at home.

You will realize that there are actually many things that are going on around you. It will also help you see a new relationship building up.

When you are ready to move on, try online dating. It is safer than going out to the bar. Additionally there are many free sites on the internet that offer the same features as the paid sites. There has been a lot of positive feedback with TheBadge.org. They offer free background investigations for all of their members as well as Chat Rooms, Public Forums, Instant Messaging, and more.

If all else fails, consult a relationship expert. You know you need one when you have developed the suicidal tendencies.