Does She Already Have A Child? Deal With It.
By Ovi Dogar
Published 02/15/2007 | Relationships
You should give unconditional love without any expectation. When you love somebody unconditionally, you are ready to do anything for that person, surely, if she returns your feelings.
However, what happens if your loved one has already a child? This should not be a problem for you if you are sure that this relationship is what you want and you are ready to make all the sacrifices that perhaps.
Singles that already have a child are very concerned and choosy about their dating options. They usually avoid going out and do not accept very easy a new partner. Dating in these circumstances is not easy for both partners because it is very risky. In any moment, it might happen you find out that she is not truly sincere with you, because every mother protects her child.
Be realistic and do not pretend it will have no effect on your potential relationship; it will. While you are dating, kids will limit the time you can spend together and put your love life on a curfew. If things get more serious and long term, they will play a major role in your relationship.
If children are part of the family of someone you are dating, there are unique things you have to consider.
Dating someone with kids is a matter of compatibility and acceptance. Therefore, if you want to get into her family and to be accepted, you must win their hearts.
Meeting her child is a very important thing in establishing and maintaining functioning relationship. However, this should happen only when you are dating for a while and things become more and more serious. To extend your relationship you must form a relationship with the child. You may start by showing him that you could be his friend and your relationship will not hurt him.
So, prepare a meeting out, try to spend more and more time with the child and make him feel good with you. Spend time at their place playing games, watch cartoons. Be aware to the child feelings and wishes. Make so that some day he will accept you.
Watch out because children are very difficult, do complicated things and ask a lot of questions, that is why you should ask from the beginning about the child habits to know what to expect at.
Also, be careful at the details. Be sure that your behavior in front of the kid is appropriate. In particular, be careful about displaying physical affection when the child is around. Do not do anything in front of the kid that would embarrass you, he will report to the other parent.
Children use their parents behavior as a model for their own lives. The examples you set for the kid will influence him over a lifetime.
If his biological parent is out of the picture due to death or divorce, he may use you to replace his parent and may act angry and hurtful towards you. Assure him that you do not want to take his parent place and you know that he is the most important in his life; you just want to be more like a friend and to give you a chance to get into his life.
Discuss with both, mother and child about what role you will play in their life, this being a good opportunity for all to express your feelings. Therefore, you will know what your place is and how to act in this relationship to make it work.
With some luck and some sacrifices from your side and not only, you may have the family that you ever dreamed with the woman you love.
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