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The woman always loses - Can we change the status quo?

By Dal Medina Published 05/29/2007 | Women

The woman always loses:

Can we change the status quo or at least our attitude?

Recently, a old truth finally became quite clear to me. A woman always loses, whether in work, marriage, sexual liberation and in even the littlest things. When it comes to work, no matter how much education a woman decides to get, a man who matches her credentials is almost always chosen above her, unless of course, she sleeps with the boss. She is almost always paid less than a man and no one quite takes her seriously. When it comes to sexual liberation, a woman who decides to get some action, is labeled so harshly as a whore, harlot, slut, but when it comes to men being sexually promiscuous, well our double standard flashes forth and we justify his behavior by saying that men have inherent needs and we end up blaming the woman for being the temptress.

I was thinking of how wonderful it would be to get married and maybe start a life. The first thing I would lose upon getting married is my last name. I love my last name, but I would have to accept and be identified by my husbands one. Since my boyfreind is Puerto Rican, I realized that my future would be there, away from my family in Belize, hence I lose the only home I have ever known.

Should we decide to have children, no doubt, I would provide the womb and my body would be infested with a future wonderful parasite. I would throw up mornings, feel fatigued and exhausted, have flatulence, have cravings and blow up to God knows how many pounds. The most he will be able to do is feel guilty for being the culprit. After a most excruciating dilation of the cervix, our child would come into the world and will suckle from my breast so beautifully as God decreed. My estrogen level will go down and my sex drive will plummet to Hades, and still, as a good wife, I will need to open my sexual door to my husband, lest I be a terrible wife. I will lose sleep and need to be up early to have breakfast ready.

Then will plague me the daily chores that some women of old so willingly accepted without complaining. Cooking, grocery shopping, ironing, vacuuming, making the bed, cleaning the bathroom / kitchen / living room, dusting, rearing the children (which will undoubtedly include dropping kids to and picking them up from school, preparing lunches, teaching them the things school cannot and making sure they do their homework), perhaps working, paying the bills and so many other minor responsibilities a womans role is almost indelibly and inanely delegated.

Wedding vows include obeying a husband, were they not scriptural, I would think them sexist. So then, obeying my husband and depending on how macho he is, well it may do away with my independence altogether. Every detail of my life will take an almost 180 degree turn. I will be expected to dress to please him and bring him honor and be expected to manage the house money well. I will need to entertain his guests and be prudent when it comes to accepting and inviting my acquaintances to our home.

Well, enough of my venting for now. How can we change it? Well, we cannot. At least not anytime soon, without some radical cosmically shocking movement. The most we can do now, is try to view our role as tender and delicate, a precious responsibility bestowed upon gracious females. We must honor our husbands, because we have an undeniable part in what he becomes. Our children, that is where we can begin impacting the change. Let us teach them to respect women and love them. Let us teach them to be equal and not hypocritical. Let us teach them to effect change now.