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Emotions: What is your Negative Emotions Saying to You?

By Vladimir C. Murray Published 08/2/2007 | Self Improvement

<p>Every one of us has at sometime or another experienced what is called negative emotions. These emotions are seen by many as a signal that something is not the way it should be and hence a call to action. Your negative emotions are sending you a message but many of you have no idea what the message is and what it means. Each negative emotion has within it a positive message, which you must find. <br />
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There are ten basic negative emotions and each emotion has a message you must figure out if you want to live the life you desire. These ten negative emotions are:<br />
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1. Anger. <br />
When you are angry you will feel anything from being irritated to being furious, upset or even total rage. The message anger is sending you is that some very important standard or present rule you have for your life has being trampled upon by someone, some event, or even by you. The solution is to recognize that you may be misinterpreting the situation completely. It could be that your anger exists because someone has violated your rules not knowing whats important to you and the rules you have for yourself. Consider also that your rules or standards may not be the correct ones to have, despite how right you think and believe they are. Its important also too ask yourself more empowering questions. So ask yourself Over time is it really true that my friend really cares about me? You can also ask, What is there for me to learn from this?  How do I let this person know how important these standards of mine are to me and in a manner that will make them want to come to my aid and not infringe on them in the future?<br />
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If you find yourself angry change how you think of the situation, it could be that whoever it is that made you angry did not know of your rules or that you underestimated the likelihood of an event happening. It could be that you did not effectively communicate what your true needs are or that you did not plan appropriately. You could start letting people know immediately know what your rules or needs are or being more detail and specific about your plans. <br />
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2. Frustration.<br />
Frustration is defined as being prevented from carrying out your plans or purpose.  In life there are many sources of frustration, generally however, frustration occurs when we feel like we are making the effort to accomplish something but we feel like we have too many hurdles in our way or no rewards are forthcoming. What this emotion is saying to you is that you believe you could be doing much better than you are presently. <br />
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Frustration is a signal that what you are presently doing is not working and you need to change your approach in order to get to your goal. It is signaling to you, your need to look at other alternatives. <br />
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The solution for frustration is to come up with new ideas of how to get the result you desire. Find someone who has what you want and mimic what they did to get it. If you cant find someone then search for information elsewhere, in books, on television, library, on tapes, videos and even in counseling.<br />
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3. Discomfort.<br />
These emotions tend not to be intense yet they irritate us and let us know that something is not what it should be. It could be that how you are looking at things is off, or maybe your actions are not producing the results you desire. <br />
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To solve the problem of discomfort you need to 1) be clear on what you want, 2) try a different approach and see if you can right away change the way you are feeling about the situation or the results you are getting, 3) change the state of mind you are presently in, choose a positive state of mind.<br />
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4. Hurt.<br />
This is the premier emotion that seems to dominate our relationships both personal and professional. Whenever you feel hurt it is usually created by a sense of loss. It is common for people to lash out at others when they feel hurt. Yet the signal that feeling hurt is sending you is that we have an expectation that has not been met. <br />
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What you need to do is 1) take the time to re-evaluate whats happening and ask yourself Am I really feeling loss here or am I rushing to judgment or am I judging the situation too harshly? 2) Understand the maybe it is that you have not lost anything, it could be that you need to loose you false perceptions that you are the target of hurt. It could be that they are unaware of the effects their actions on you and your life. 3) In a sensitive manner try to communicate your feeling of loss to whomever has hurt you. You can say to them When you shout at me I feel like you dont care and have a sense of loss. Can you tell me whats happening? By changing how you communicate and getting clarity on whats happening what youll find is that the hurt ends to disappear quickly. <br />
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5. Fear<br />
The fear emotion is one that includes feelings of concern, intense worry, anxiety, fright and even terror. When you feel fear what you are feeling is the anticipation that something that needs to be prepared for is going to happen soon. Many people try to deny their fear or choose to wallow in it. Never surrender to fear and make it bigger than it really is by focusing on the worst outcome, also do not pretend it doesnt exist. <br />
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To deal with your fearful feelings you need to 1) identify what it is you are fearful about and then think of what you must do to prepare yourself mentally 2) then decide what actions you need to take to handle the situation in the most satisfying way.<br />
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 There are times, however, when we have done all we can do to prepare, but we still find ourselves fearful. At this point we must decide to have faith, with the knowledge that we have done everything we can to prepare for whatever it is were fearing and that most of the fears we have rarely come to past. <br />
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6. Guilt.<br />
Guilt and similar emotions like remorse and regret is one of that most persons try to avoid. This is so because they are amongst the more painful of emotions to experience. What your guilt is telling you is that you have violated one of your own high standards or rules and you must take action right now to make sure you wont violate that standard or rule again.<br />
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Many people try to handle their guilt by pretending its not there or just suppressing it all together. This, however, hardly works as the guilt doesnt dissipate but comes back even stronger. At times you may have done something and the guilt you feel immobilizes you and you wallow in it with great remorse and end up feeling inferior for a very long time. This is not the message guilt is sending you, no, no it is their to guide you away from doing things that will lead to guilt. <br />
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Guilt is dealt with by 1) acknowledging the fact that you have violated a particular standard you have for yourself, 2) totally commit yourself to eliminating that behaviour once and for all 3) run through your mind how you would have handled the situation, where you would feel guilty, differently and hold on to the belief that it will never happen again. In the end you will realize that you can let go of the guilt.<br />
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7. Disappointment.<br />
Whenever you feel disappointment you are actually feeling let down, or that you are about to totally miss out on something. If you were expecting more than you have gotten and end up feeling sad or defeated then you are experiencing disappointment. <br />
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Disappointment is try to tell you that an expectation you had is likely not to happen so now you need to change your expectations to make them appropriate for the situation and then set and go after a new goal right away.<br />
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The solution to disappointment is to 1) find what it is you can learn from the situation that can aid you in the long run to achieve that which you where seeking in the beginning 2) come up with a new goal that will inspire you much more than the last one and make it something you can move towards and make progress on right now 3) consider that you may be jumping to conclusions too soon, it could be that our disappointment is only a temporary challenge 4) develop more patience, maybe the situation is not over just yet. All you need is a more effective plan for achieving your goal 5) one powerful way to deal with disappointment is to develop a positive expectancy attitude about what will happen in the future, in spite of your past history.<br />
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8) Overwhelmed.<br />
This happens whenever we see our world in such a way that we end up feeling like theres too much going on or happening, than we can deal with.<br />
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The solution is 1) decide on what is the most important thing that you have doing right now that you need to focus on. 2) write down everything that is most important for you to accomplish and prioritize them 3) then begin to take on the first item on your list  and do what you need to do to master it. Once you have mastered the first item you move on to the next one, master it and move on until you have completed the list. You will, as you go through the list, begin to feel in control and not overwhelmed. You will also realize that the problem is not permanent and that you can come up with solutions.<br />
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9) Inadequacy.<br />
If you feel you are unable to do something you should be able to do you are likely to be feeling inadequacy or unworthy. If you are feeling this way it means that right now at this moment you dont possess the level of skill necessary for the task. You need more information, tools, understanding and possibly strategies. <br />
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Conquering inadequacy requires that you 1) question your perceptions ask am I expressing the right emotion for this situation? Do I really believe Im inadequate or should I modify the way I perceive things 2) tell yourself that you are not perfect and you will never be and dont need to be. Commit yourself to improving this area 3) find someone who is more effective in the area where you feel inadequate, a role model, and mimic what they are doing or get them to coach you. <br />
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10). Loneliness.<br />
This covers things that make you feel alone, separated or apart from others. It tells us that we need to connect with people. This connection should not be an intimate or sexual one for you are likely to end up feeling frustrated and lonely still. <br />
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Loneliness is handled by 1) recognizing that you can end loneliness by reaching out and connecting with someone 2) figure out the kind of connection you need e.g. whether a friendship or just someone who will listen to you 3) take action right now to reach out and connect with someone.<br />
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All these ten emotions have within them positive messages and a signal that we must take action to change the situation. Use this list, review it as often as you can and keep looking for the positive messages that each signal is sending you and the corresponding solution you can employ in the future.<br />
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Vladimir Murray is a father of two boys,  runs his own internet marketing business and enjoys helping others improve their lives. To learn more about self improvement, the Science of Getting Rich and how to apply it to your life then Vladimir recommends Bob Proctor's SGR Program. For info <a href="http://www.sgrprogramme.com" target="_top">Click Here!</a>