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Build a Romance Bridge

By Charles Hopkins Published 04/23/2006 | Dating
Ever run into a brick wall, so to speak, with your mate? Cant seem to pass Go without collecting 200 fresh wounds? Well, its time to build a bridge and tear down that brick wall. Here are your tools:

ATTITUDE Get an attitude adjustment first. Lighten up and do a 180-degree about face. Read the Sunday comics, grab an old comic book, turn on the Comedy channel, watch funny videos or DVDs. Get in a better mood and pass it along to your mate. Invite your mate to tune in to comedy with you, too.

2. FRIENDSHIP Go back to being friends for starters now that youre in a good mood. Forget the love stuff, if you want. And just focus on being good friends; share compliments, do things for one another, go out and have fun together, enjoy one anothers company.

3. RELAX Let your hair down. Trust and relax. Be yourself. Dont let old wounds open or fester. Forget the garbage memories and just be in the here and now together.

4. TIME OUT If possible, spend extra time together for awhile, like during your original courting days. Hire a sitter, order out, eat at fast food places, grab ice cream cones and go for walks in the park. Get to know each other all over again. Thats the key. Then youll remember why you fell for each other in the beginning and history will hopefully repeat itself.

5. COMMUNICATION Take it slow and easy. Keep away from subjects that you dont agree upon. And slowly re-learn to communicate with each other all over again. If necessary, and its not a crime or shame get help. Seek a trusted friend or adviser, a church clergy member or certified professional counselor. No need to go it alone. Find your weak areas and how to over come them and plan for future communication difficulties.

6. GOALS Gradually develop goals together so youll have a direction to head. Write them down in a notebook just for the two of you. And over time, develop them, revise them, cross them off your list. The idea is to HAVE goals together and work towards a common goal.

7. SCRAP BOOK Create a memory album together. Add photos, clippings, menus and anything that reminds you of the good times. Then when tough times comes, youll have something to hold on to your bridge to romance.

So dont just sit back and sulk. Take short steps to improve your relationships and let lifes problems magically pass by while you hold on to your relationship.