By Charles Hopkins
Published 01/2/2008 | Health
One of the biggest problems today is that most people are not happy.
We look for external stimuli to make us happy. We expect our
significant other to make us happy and divorce her when she doesn't. We
expect our children to fulfill our dreams for them and are disappointed
in them when they do not. We expect money to solve all our problems and
make us happy, then, we can't understand why it doesn't once we have
How many times have you heard someone say, "I will be happy when..."?
I will be happy, once I am married.
I will be happy, when I get a promotion.
I will be happy, when my children are grown and I have more time for myself.
Pages and pages of examples could be given.
Another way to view this statement is, "I will do this, when that
happens." Have you ever made that type of statement? I hear people say
it all the time. You are making your happiness contingent upon an
John thought this way years ago. He always said he would buy a
house, when he remarried. He kept saying that for many years; until one
day, he realized that he did not need to wait to meet that special
someone to own and enjoy a home of his own. Since then, he has owned
two homes and is still single... but he is happy!
Happiness is not an external thing. Even once you have something
external, the happiness it brings you is short-lived. For example:
You have waited for that special relationship. The significant
other is great, but you still have a negative attitude. You were happy
during the initial stages, but now it seems routine.
You have always known that a promotion would get that new home for
which you and your spouse have been waiting. You got the promotion, the
money is great, and you buy that home. After the beginning excitement
wears off, things go back to the same routine, just in a different
house. Your happiness falls back to your previous feeling before the
You and your spouse know that you will be happy, once the children
are grown. You will not have to work so hard to provide for the family,
and you will have more time to enjoy your relationship and home. Well,
the children have grown, but they can't afford to live on their own.
All three children are still living at home...for free!
Look at all the time in the examples above that people wasted not
being happy! Then, when they got what they were waiting for, the
happiness was fleeting. Again, it's because happiness cannot be gained
from anything external.
THE SECRET TO BEING HAPPY
It's incredible how many books have been written on the topic of
being happy. Yet, so many people are not. Do they not read the books?
There are people who read such books all the time and are still not
With so many unhappy people in the world, being happy must be an extremely difficult thing to achieve.
Haven't you known or met that person who always has a great smile
on their face, a smile in their voice, and a skip in their step? You
want that too...don't you?
So what is the secret to finding happiness?
Believe it or not, the secret is known!
It is easy to do - no complicated actions.
It is quick to do - no long-term procedures.
You can do it anywhere - no special requirements or equipment are needed.
Anyone can do it!
Determine yourself to be happy!
It's an internal process.
True happiness that lasts is an internal process. Nothing from
outside you can make you happy or unhappy. As in any situation, your
reaction determines whether the event is stressful for you or not. It
is the same with happiness.
If upon waking each morning, you state strongly to yourself, "I am
happy today", then you will be. Whenever you encounter stress, just
mentally reaffirm, "I am happy today", the stress will be there, but
your reaction will be minimal.
That person who always wears a smile and has a skip in his step,
seldom experiences stress the same way you do. He is happy, and being
happy allows the stress to roll of his back better.
So, make your determination every morning.
Tape affirmations that say, "I am happy today" all over your home and at work.
Say it aloud to yourself often throughout the day, especially on
those days with many stressors. Continue to say it, until you believe
Then, put a smile on your face and confront the outside world. When you are happy, you have the world in your hands!