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Last Updated: Feb 18th, 2008 - 14:39:01 |
WAITING FOR THE ONE?
Most Dating Myths Are False
There’s no such thing as a fairytale romance. You won’t leave your glass slippers somewhere. And you don’t have to wait for the proverbial Prince Charming to seek you out and try if the shoe would fit. Throughout the years, many romance myths have been formulated, conditioning our minds to accept that love is worthy of all the commercialized holidays designed to capitalize on the same. Love has been glorified with so much grandeur in tales and movies and popular culture. This, of course, created some problems. Often do people view love as magical, and often does it fail to live up to its hype. People were led to believe in fantastic stories waiting to be told, and seldom would they be able to prepare themselves for eventual tragedies that would be suffered along the way.
Below are some false beliefs about romance. With this article, it is hoped that they would be demystified so that we may realize what love truly is.
• There’s no such thing as destiny. You cannot simply wait for the one whom fate has planned for you. It’s an ages old argument. Once you believe in destiny, you believe in predestination. This renders the concept of free will as moot. The decisions you make on a daily basis won’t matter, since everything is preordained. Thus is the danger of this dating myth. Believing in destiny and reveling as it unfolds may look good on the silver screen, but in reality, it could produce some disastrous effects. You would need a positive act and whole lot of adjustments to find the right partner. You don’t wait for destiny. Rather, you forge your own tale.
• There’s no such thing as a soul mate. Though most spiritual schools of thought do not preclude this idea, they do not promote it as well. Kindred spirits are the stuff of historical romance novels. Time is temporal as it is relative. Love does not endure the ages. It is something we should savor, and care for, while we are alive. After all, how could we breathe affection if we don’t have any more breath to take?
• There’s no such thing as the perfect partner. Perfection is a quality that mortals are deprived of. Imperfection is in fact the very essence of our humanity. It’s the reason we strive. It’s the reason why we try to make ourselves better persons. It’s the reason why we constantly try to improve ourselves. Looking for the perfect partner is an exercise in futility. Even if you find the person most compatible to your own personality, some situations would call for some conflict, one way or another. It’s because no two persons are ever alike, and with differences come misunderstandings. The trick is in how we work out these differences to strengthen our relationships.
• To say that love is unconditional would be naïve. It’s all about what is good for us. Though we may find someone for whom we could pledge our life, there’s no use sticking with such a relationship when it becomes unhealthy. Believing in the unselfishness of love has brought about many social ills. Domestic violence is tolerated because of a strong adherence to such a fallacious principle. Verbal abuse is dismissed as nothing for the same reason. If a relationship is good for you, stick with it. Fight for it. But the moment it becomes harmful, leave immediately. Sacrificing yourself for the person you love entails the right reasons. Tolerating abuse is not, and should not, be one of them.
• You don’t look for love, love will find you. Though this isn’t exactly a false statement, it does have its shares of problems. It promotes non-action and idleness, when a more active lifestyle is what is needed to better our chances of finding an ideal mate. Indeed, you don’t have to look for love. It will strike your heart eventually. But you should not sit still and wait for love to find you. Be visible and social, and you would be able to greatly expedite the process.
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