How to Handle Divorce

By Charles Hopkins Published 04/24/2006 | Marriage
The ink is not even dry and you feel different. You know that you will never be the same. You are irrevocably different. You know that! You feel that! What do you do now? Whether your divorce was your choice or the choice of your partner, you are now different, and you will have to embrace the changes that will come your way.

There are two directions you can now take. The high road or the low road, but the choice will be yours. The latter one leads to resentment, bitterness, and self destruction. You can build anger and resentment toward your former partner which will lead you to find ways of seeking revenge. If you chose this road to walk down you will find yourself arguing and fighting over every minute item. Your emotions will get out of control on this road and you will take much too long to heal while on it.

Words will be spoken that are meant to hurt each other. What will this accomplish? Will you find peace and satisfaction on this road? Many have walked down it. Some never return. Do you think it is worth ruining your life and, perhaps, others while seeking revenge? What about your children, if any are involved?

The higher road is more secure. There is dignity on the higher road. This road is much more promising because it offers such things as: peace, forgiveness, and, most of all, healing. But, make no mistake about it, this road is the most difficult.

This road means taking responsibility for your own actions. It may require that you admit that you need others to come along side of you for support.

Everyone needs help from time to time in life. However, many lack the freedom or courage to ask for help. You may want to browse the self-help books at your local book store to find assistance. If you were belittle by your ex spouse you will have to be in continuos dialogue with yourself presenting positive statements to your inner person.

The higher road leads to forgiveness. In order for you to be set free you will have to release your ex. It is such a simple statement, but one of the most difficult decisions to make, and then, apply.

However, forgiving the one who hurt you is the ultimate means to growth and healing. As much as it hurts to release someone of the pain they brought into your life, it is a necessity.

The ink may not be dry, but you don't have to wait until it is to take the higher road. You can get on it today!