How to Deal with a Jealous Girlfriend
By Ovi Dogar
Published 04/13/2007 | Relationships
Jealousy is a whole bundle of feelings that tend to get lumped together. It is one of the most destructive and painful emotions in a dating relationship. Jealousy is about fear of losing power of control in a relationship. Jealousy is sweet sometimes, but in moderation. Too much jealousy can destroy a relationship, because is driving a wedge between the two.
You have a relationship for a long time with an amazing girl, you love her very much, but the problem is that she is very jealous and that's why you are arguing a lot. You don't want to lose her so you have to deal with it.
But she is over reacting: she calls you in the middle of the night to make sure that you are at home, she is checking your mobile phone, calls you when you go out with your friends to see where you are and how much you stay or becomes very angry when she sees you looking or talking with any other girl. Also she gets suspicious and make accusations which are not all heartfelt, it's teasing you a lot, accuse you of being unfaithful even if there is no basis for her to think this way. After a while you are enough of all this, but you are ready to make all the sacrifices you can to understand her and make her stop with all these.
There are many reasons we feel jealous and though it is a normal human emotion to feel. Jealousy comes from insecurity. Maybe she is afraid that you will see another girl and suddenly like her more that you like her. So, try to not give her many reasons to feel jealous. Avoid looking at other girls in her presence, dont compare her with other girls, don't exclude her from your future plans and also avoid having female best friends. If you have already a best female friend and don't want to lose any of them, you should try meeting them both and making them become friends.
No matter the reasons why she feels jealous, you should try to understand why she feels that way. As an example, maybe she can't deal with the fact that before her you had a girlfriend, your first girlfriend with whom you stayed more than with her, you loved her, but all is over because she betrayed you. But your actual girlfriend doesn't want to accept that, and continues to be jealous on her. Explain her that she has to accept that we all have a past and move on because that past isn't going to change, and assure her that she is the only one for you.
Maybe all of us which have a relationship for some time and love their partner are sometimes a little jealous. Think about it: how would you feel to see her at school or work talking with other guys, and comes and tells you how great they are, wouldn't you be jealous? Or maybe there are some people around her that you don't like and don't trust in them, and then you see that you are jealous too. A little bit of jealousy is healthy, but in her case, which is over reacting, she may need some help from you to get over it.
The best thing you can do to deal with your jealous girlfriend and to not break up with her is to talk sincere with her and tell her how you feel. Also be faithful to her and explain her that you know that relationships are based on trust so you are going to be sincere with her all the time. Communicate sincerely and with calm and tell her she needs to get her self esteem in check, because she is splinting you apart. Having a heart to heart discussion and explain her that all this jealous behavior will drive you away. Often an honest exchange of feelings will solve the problem.
The jealousy often ruined the relationship because it push away the other partner more and more with every fight and argue they had; after some time the partner which is accused all the time had enough and leave. But if you really love her and want that your relationship continues, make an agree both, to stop arguing so much. You will not give her so many reasons to be jealous, and she will try to not call you so many times a day.
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