The Unwritten Rules of Online Dating
By Ovi Dogar
Published 05/9/2007 | Dating
The number of online dating sites have proliferated to such extend that they are virtually everywhere and in great numbers. Online dating opens a window allowing the vast numbers of potential partners to meet each other, is a stress free and affordable way of meeting people, making friends.
Meeting a woman online is harder than meeting her in real life. In face-to-face meeting you can use the body language, voice tone, and also eye contacts in your favor, but with online dating this is not possible. If you don't play the few cards you have right, she will skip right past your email, and this time you won't have a second chance.
Even though, more and more singles are using online dating services. But not many of them know that there are some unwritten rules, tips and tricks that will make the online dating experience much better. So, these are some of the unwritten rules that you should know before starting dating online.
First and the most important is that you don't have to expect from the beginning at too much. Online dating is a process. So, it takes time, a lot of patience to search, screen and email, chat and date before you succeed. Remember that, and don't be too enthusiastic when you see an interesting profile. The big mistake made by the people who use online dating services is that if they fail once in meeting a compatible person as a partner, they give up and try something else. But, as I said, you have to have patience and to go on several dates to find the perfect match.
Take some time to respond. Maybe your instincts will probably tell you to respond to emails from prospective dates right away. If you reply to your email too soon, this will be perceived as being desperate for a date, and we all know and avoid desperate people because at a certain moment they can become too possessive. If you wait for some time, you can improve your standings; so you have time to compose an appropriate response, and also to research the person who seems interested by your profile to see if you'd be a possible match.
Take things slow. The secret to turning an internet dating site attraction in a lasting relationship is to go at a realistic pace. Usually online dating sites tend to create quick connections between people that crash and burn; so to make things last, slow them down.
When you compose your profile you have to be honest, think about the fact that the truth will be revealed once you meet her in person. Trust is important in any relationship so it's better to not risk sabotaging. If you have to meet her someday, she will feel disappointed when she'll see that you laid her.
If you decide to answer at an email keep the tone light and friendly. Keep your dialog simple and general at first, while getting to know the person you are communicating with. Be conservative with what you write, remember that until you really come to know the person to the other end, don't give out private informations about yourself, such as home address, place of employment...Also is preferable to avoid talking about sex on your online profile and while you chat to potential mates.
Once you open up contact with somebody who you think it may interest you, take your time in getting to know her better; now you have the opportunity to exchange relevant details about each other. But, only meet when you are ready. If someone is pushing or pressuring you to meet with her before you feel comfortable, just say that you are not quite there, but you'd like to continue chatting.
If you decide to go to your first meeting, the perfect place is a coffee shop during the day. If the person who shows up does not meet your expectations, cut the meeting short and go your way. Always be polite, no matter what.
Also, don't get discouraged. If you've send out a few messages and few winks and you've gotten only a fraction of the replies you were hoping for, don't get discouraged and keep trying. Try looking over your messages objectively and see what could help generate more responses.
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