The beginning of the END

By Dal Medina Published 09/14/2007 | Relationships

     We as a people - women I mean- tend to assign so much meaning to beginnings and endings.  True enough, they (start & finish) either make a movie, relationship, story, good or bad.  As a matter of fact, endings in particular, make it possible for new beginnings and that paradoxical beginning of the end.  My focus today is that very same thing we call beginning of the endour premonition, as it were, to prepare for the future.  Taking into account too that perhaps one of my few areas of expertise is doomed relationships, I should very much enjoy relating to you what the beginning of the end feels like and how you can use it to your advantage.

     Every non-platonic relationship, unless it leads to a lifetime marriage, is subject to vulnerability and the psychological pangs of that love guillotine.  Just before the actual beheading, there are signs that warn of the pending upheaval.  Little things like recurrent postponing or canceling of dates / rendezvous / sex opportunities and the like are the first signs.  Then, the beginning of the end is illumed by the avoiding of meaningful conversation and eerie disturbing silence, much too keen for any love simulation.  Any remaining feelings or affection turn to bitterness or hate; and just before its unavoidable downfall, there would be no communication at all were it not for yelling at each other.  By then love is comatose, waiting for you to pull the plug, waiting for King Henry to get himself another wife.

     It is during this time, the beginning of the end and the series of events subsequent to it, that women are most hurt and damaged.  They carry along this hurt and bitterness with them, sometimes unto other relationships; relationships that will not stand a chance with so much burden from a previous relationship.  What we oftentimes fail to realize is that when you see beginning of the end, you are at the threshold of either the END or you are about to be challenged to see how hard you are willing TO WORK for your relationship to last.  Those are the only two choices you have, things rarely resolve themselves on their own.

     Given that those are your only two options, you need to, if you opt to save a relationship, find out where it is lacking and try to fix things.  This option requires that both parties desire to reconcile the relationship because chasing after a man who has no place for you in his future is as fruitless as chasing after the wind.  When both of you decide to get back that spark in the relationship, you begin to be more considerate of each other and begin to forgive more freely.  You might want to read information on how to save your marriage or maybe even go for couples counseling.  You may consider taking the relationship on a higher plateau; maybe marriage is you are not yet married or maybe having a child if you are and have worked out your differences.  If neither those options will do or are not in your plans, maybe you just incorporate more creative sex play into the relationship.

     Alas! There is the aforementioned alternative, prepare yourself for the end.  When you know that the end is definitely coming, then there is no use to fight it, but neither do you surrender in defeat.  Who are you, the French?  A lot of times, the beginning of the end whips you into a frenzy of paranoia, and your unstable behavior may hasten the end.  This is never good since you lose a certain dignity about your character and become crazy, of course Im using the word very liberally.   You need to begin to prepare yourself to live without this particular person, leave for a while if you need to, and pull the plug before someone has to do it for you.  It is not relationship Suicide or Euthanasia; it is about taking control and refusing to be at anyones mercy.