So you’ve had a couple of failures. You’ve applied for a few jobs but got turned away, the person you loved has dumped you for somebody else … and your self confidence took a nosedive.
You find yourself thinking “I’m not worthy, I’m not clever, there is nothing good about me…”.
However, that doesn’t mean you are ‘no good’ and you should not nourish such self destructive thoughts!
Life has its ups and downs and we all have dips in our self confidence from time to time when things don’t go how we would like them to go.
Regardless of the cause, giving yourself a whole set of negative suggestions internally will only reinforce your feelings of worthlessness.
Watch what you’re saying to yourself: “I’m not intelligent”, “I’m not talented” and so on …
You’ve got to get out of this negative self talk! Your subconscious mind responds to these self suggestions and will try to do everything to fulfil them.
So, if you constantly repeat to yourself you are not talented, you’re programming your subconscious to shut off your creative resources.
If you can catch yourself every time you do the negative self talk and replace it with a positive one, your subconscious mind will reprogram the old negative pattern and find resources to fulfil the newly formed positive program.
Here’s a simple technique you can use to reverse negative patterns that undermine your self confidence:
Find a comfortable, quiet place where you will not be disturbed (switch off your mobile phone).
Take 10 deep breaths, exhaling slowly through pursed lips. This will release any tensions you might have and will help you to relax. Let it all go.
Then, in your inner eye, see yourself as a successful, intelligent and admired person. How do you look? What do you wear? Do you have a big smile on your face?
If you have problem imagining yourself as a Successful You, think of a time you were, or just pretend to be… Put your emotions in it, act it out! Hear how people praise you and what you say to them.
Notice how it feels on your body to be successful, intelligent and admired. You may have a fuzzy warm sensation around your heart, feeling like you could fly or a pleasant tingling in your head.
At this moment you may notice yourself smiling… Good! Your subconscious mind is now receptive and ready to listen.
This is the right time to plant some positive suggestions, for example “It’s easy for me to come up with original and creative ideas other people admire and are attracted to” or “I’m totally confident that I’ll find the job which is best for me”.
Repeat the suggestions to yourself 2 or 3 times, slowly, taking in what you are saying.
Before you start the exercise, consciously pre-think and memorize a couple of positive suggestions because once you’re in a relaxed dreamy state, you may find it difficult to think.
It’s best to write them down on a piece of paper so you can easily remember them the next time.
Suggestions should be as concrete as possible, within reason (e.g. “I’m 100 percent confident that I’ll become the president of the United States by tomorrow” is not reasonable) and as more emotionally charged as more powerful they will be.
Positive suggestions and feelings can also be anchored to a specific action, for example snapping your fingers, squeezing your earlobe etc.
If you snap your fingers every time you give yourself a specific suggestion for a sufficient number of times, you’ll soon be able to recall that suggestion or emotions at will, just by snapping your fingers. This is a very handy and quick way to stop your negative self talk.
For best results, do your ‘self confidence exercise’ every day in the morning and before going to bed.
Don’t be put off if you don’t get instantaneous results. It can take 3 to 4 weeks for a newly formed ‘program’ to kick in, but once it does you’ll know it was worth your time.
Remember, you create your reality with your thoughts and words so be careful what you say to yourself and others!