Sunday, May 2, 2021
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Why I Like Older Men

Eddie Izzard, my favorite comedians, loves to dress like a woman. I like older men, it’s just one of those things.

The only reason I am addressing this issue is because younger women who decide to be with relatively older men are put under such Gestapo-like scrutiny that we are made to feel like we are doing something wrong, and I think it’s about high time we stop.

Most of the men I have ever been interested in, or at least, have taken seriously have been over forty.

Now let me tell you, I am in my mid twenties and you would not believe the spot I’m pressed against by friends and family.

Well, to start with, my life is my own and since I tend to be stubborn, very stubborn, no one dissuades me from pursuing things I like No matter how silly everyone else thinks my pursuits are. My sisters scolding did not stop me from buying my cat a pet mouse.

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To get serious now, older men think you are the best thing since sliced bread. They are easily amused and when they are bored, instead of dragging you along to some boring game, they just roll over and go to sleep.

Older men enjoy reading, and they let you read very much unlike young guys, I’ve heard. They stimulate you to become a better person and they play with you when they figure you miss your childhood. They never pressure you into anything, they are patient, they can relate to you when you tell them my back hurts or I’m tired.

They don’t like guns n roses, but they never tell you to take off your music. They are not shy to ask for things and they hide their disappointment when you don’t give them what they ask for.

They never run out of affectionate pet names for you. By this age, they already have a job and house, and its a load off your back. Older men know a lot more things than you, are they are eager to each you new things.

They listen to you and discuss modern languages, cultures, religions and they actually speak about Greek Mythology with you. They listen to your ramblings without interrupting since they have obviously been emasculated by previous women.

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They find you sweet and charming. They think it’s cute when you hit them and lock them out. They are able to hold their drink, even when you cannot. They never storm out on you, they buy you things just for fun. They do things because they think you will like it.

They take an interest in your work. They do not call every minute to bother you. They know your body looks 20 years younger and better than theirs, so they do not complain about your gaining weight or a varicose vein.

They listen to you, and yes, sometimes they fall asleep in the middle of your story, but that’s okay, you wait until he wakes up and you finish telling him your story. No big deal.

Dating older men is dating an adult instead of a child. You can call him up and say: Baby, I feel like going to (insert your favorite spot here) and he will say I will call you back in Five minutes and then will call and say: Baby, get ready, were going in half an hour.

Now, with a young guy, he says: maybe this weekend I can borrow my dads car or we can take the bus. I mean, seriously, you want a guy who can accomplish your desires right? You can also cook for him and he will compliment your food, even if its not so good.

They tend to be less picky, keeping in mind that they are more replaceable than you are to them. It fantastic what they let you get away with. They are always trying to impress you and in the hopes that you will not think they are too old, they are willing to try new things.

So, anyway, these are my reasons for loving the older dudes. Notice I did not mention anything about sex, there’s a reason for that. In nut shell, they love sex but it happens on your terms.

What else can you ask for. The other beauty about it is that you will get to have at least 6 of them in your lifetime they can only live so long. Again, this last statement-SATIRE. Don’t send me angry mail.

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