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Building Self Esteem In Your Teenager

Adolescence is one of life’s most difficult times for teenagers and their parents. Teenagers are confronted with mixed messages about their looks, behavior, and attitude as they enter the world.

Teenagers tend to be highly susceptible to peer influence and often engage in activities simply because their friends participate. At this age, teenagers are worried about how they look, concerned about their popularity, and very focused on their feelings and experiences.

The judgment of teenagers towards things may not be reliable when considering themselves. Due to their ongoing cognitive development, they may hold unattainable expectations about their abilities. 

 As a parent, you naturally want to help your child with every advantage in life. You may want your child to grow confident, responsible, and booming. How can you best foster self-esteem in your teenager?

 1) Give them clear rules to follow.

All children, no matter what age, respond best to clear instructions. Your teenager may balk or fight over your rules, but this is par for the course. Setting clear rules indicates your investment in your child’s well-being. It boosts your children’s self-assurance when they sense their value.

 2) Balance out criticism with appropriate acknowledgments.

When your child does something well, say so. Acknowledge their skills, talents, or abilities, and pay attention to the positives rather than the negatives.

 3) Let them make some of their own decisions.

Teenagers learn good decision-making by actually making decisions. Allow them to make decisions with your guidance. Ask them to share their lines of thinking with you and their reasoning. Help them see where their sense or judgment might be better.

 4) Keep in regular contact with them.

Although teenagers are likely to be self-centered and self-focused, talk to them anyway. Ask about their day, find out what they are feeling, and share information about your day and feelings. No matter how much your teenager wants to isolate or disconnect from the family, work to keep them engaged and involved.

 5) Be proud of your teenager, and tell them so.

Please take additional steps to ensure your child understands your pride in their achievements or accolades. Words make a huge difference; don’t just assume they already know.

 6) Support your child during a conflict.

When your child conflicts with another, please find a way to support their viewpoint while maintaining your integrity. Your child will not always be correct, but they will only sometimes be right. Supporting your child during conflict provides a strong foundation for meeting challenges.

 7) Examine your self-esteem and feelings of limitation.

Don’t impose these same struggles on your child if you have struggled with your self-esteem. Children are very susceptible to absorbing their parent’s opinions and belief systems, so take care not to impose your own negative beliefs on your child.

 8) Be consistent.

If you want to raise a healthy, well-adjusted child (and you probably do), be compatible with your rules and approach. It only matters a little what the rules are. It matters more than the rules are always the rules. Don’t criticize your child for something one day and praise him for it the next. Children don’t gain self-esteem in the face of constant change.

 9) Remind your child of your support.

Like the old saying, “Give them roots to ground them, but wings to fly.” Let them know you are there to help them whenever they need it. Again, this feeling of support and constancy will help them become more confident in the world.

 10) Finally, celebrate their uniqueness.

Every parent has cherished dreams and goals for their child. It doesn’t mean that the child will want those same dreams and goals for him or herself. When there is a gap between desires and reality, you, as a parent, must bridge that space by letting go of what you desire and truly, deeply loving who your child is.

 These tools will help you build your child’s self-esteem. With high self-esteem, your child will move through the world more confidently, be willing to take necessary risks and succeed. And what parent wouldn’t want that?

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